• ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 hours ago

    I’ve not seen the movie, but this is shades of that film about the woman who reinvented a lot of cattle technology, and there’s a scene where they’re trying out her new design for something and they decide the materials and shape are wrong and change them, and then three cattle die, and they’re laughing at her saying her thing doesn’t work, and she looks at what they did to it and calls them out for being idiots

  • Randelung@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    Do people just substitute things that look similar?

    I didn’t like egg whites, so I used soap instead. Ew, it tastes like soap!

  • miraclerandy@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    I had a friend who wanted to make my No Bake cookies for her husband so I showed her the recipe and she said she had everything.

    I show up to a game night and she’s making them but substituted the butter for the ‘can’t believe it’s not butter’ stuff. I told her it’s not the same thing and she didn’t believe me.

    Instead of cookies she served us bowls of congealed cookies.

    She tried blaming me but my friend knew better and called her out for not following the recipe.

  • Grizzlyboy@lemm.ee
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    22 hours ago

    These people are going to be fucking mad when they learn about braille books. “1/10, couldn’t read it, doesn’t have words in it!”

  • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    One of my favourite recipes has a comment in a similar vein and it tickles me every time.

    For context the recipe is for Oatmeal Cakes, which are baked in a muffin tray.

    The commenter says: “I wouldn’t make these again. Although they are not called a muffin, they do look like one in the picture. They are nothing like a muffin. I only realized after I had all of the ingredients in the bowl that the recipe did not call for any flour.” (2/5 stars)

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I’ve replaced the celery in the raw celery recipe with pizza. Why am I not losing weight?

    • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      In the 60s of last century (IIRC, was before my time) there was a product called “Millical”, a powder to be mixed with water that provided (according to knowledge back then) every nourishment for the day with a total of 1000kcal (hence the name) per “day pack”. Basically a diet powder. Best comment was “It tastes boring, so instead of water, I mix it with cream.”

  • Mayor Poopington@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    One of the few things I miss on Reddit is a sub called “Ididnthaveeggs” or something like that. Basically a whole sub of the bonkers substitutions people have done. It was always a good read.

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      1/5 stars

      I didn’t have sugar, butter, vanilla, or baking powder, and I substituted the milk with cheddar cheese. Also, I don’t have an oven, so I just used a frying pan on the stove top. It turned into an omelet! Would not recommend this cake recipe.

      • slappypantsgo@lemm.ee
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        9 hours ago

        It might sound totally insane but this is barely an exaggeration with some of the ones you see submitted there (and I mean ones that aren’t jokes).

        They will absolutely make tons of substitutions and still rate the recipe based on it. It’s infuriating and should be illegal.

        • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          7 hours ago

          This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the substituters away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Boraqua. You cook like that, they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing. Bakers? We have a special jail for bakers. You’re leaving out ingredients? Right to jail. You’re editing Michelin Star recipes? Right to jail. Right away. You’re whisking too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You’re adding too much butter for cakes, pastries, you right to jail. You undercook flan, believe it or not, jail. You overcook quiche, also jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the food delivery and you don’t show up? Believe it or not, jail, right away. We have the best cooks in the world, because of jail.

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      2 days ago

      I tried to make fried eggs but I didn’t have eggs so I replaced them with ice cream.

      0/10 hot ice cream soup isn’t fried eggs!!

    • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      “I grilled this pasta for hours and hours, but it wouldn’t go soft!” (Terry Pratchett, “Opera”)

    • wabasso@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      I didn’t know this meme until now, and this image is my favourite. Can’t stop laughing.

  • Delphia@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    The weird part about these is sometimes the results are absolutely fire as long as you use a little common sense.

    Its possible to bake an amazing chocolate cake by replacing the eggs and oil with mayonaise and a great Vanilla cake by replacing the milk and sugar with melted ice cream.

    • CrazyLikeGollum@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Replacing eggs and oil with mayonnaise?

      Milk and sugar replaced with melted ice cream?

      You’re just substituting two things with one thing that is made almost entirely from those two things.

      Like yes, eggs and oil are a great replacement for eggs and oil.

      • Delphia@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        It still sounds insane at first until you think about it. “I’m baking a chocolate cake, fetch the mayonaise” Is not normal behavior.

        • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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          19 hours ago

          I would only do this if I seriously wanted to annoy someone looking over my shoulder while baking.

          • Delphia@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            Theres also a great chocolate cake recipe that involves a can of pickled beets I cant wait to try.

            B Dylan Hollis on youtube does a lot of vintage recipes, some with seemingly insane substitutions but some of them work out really well. Theres a bunch he does that I still want to try. The disgusting ones are just entertaining.

        • Denjin@lemmings.world
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          22 hours ago

          Nor should it be unless it’s the exact same ratio of those ingredients as is in the substitute.

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Whenever I’m thirsty I just drink a liquefied byproduct of hydrogen and oxygen combustion instead of water

    • megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      I mean, carrots do have a lot of sugar as vegetables go, but it’s like 5% sugar by weight. If you’re cutting out stuff with that low of a ratio, you’re probably taking a low sugar diet a bit far.

      • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock but this is like one ingredient of a cake, a fucking CAKE!! What else did you supplement?

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 day ago

          I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock

          Are you literally out of your mind? Sugar shock from A CARROT??

          Are you sure you’re not confusing “a raw carrot“ with “a big bag of candy”? It’s a common mistake in some cultures, I bet 🤷

        • megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 days ago

          Traditionally carrots were used as the main sweetener in carrot cake. Something developed during lean times when honey, fruits and sugar weren’t available. So assuming this person was looking for a “low sugar cake” recipe, they may have found a carrot cake recipe that only used carrots for sweetening.

          … and then they removed the carrots to reduce the sugar content further. So yah it’s going to be an awful cake if there is zero sweetness in it. Like, just make a savory baked good at that point.

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